Twenty years ago this week, my life was changed forever. Who would have thought that a nice, easy, early afternoon ride through the country would end up as a four month stay in the hospital? Life throws unexpected things at you sometimes. The last thing I remember about that day is the beautiful sunshine coming through the car windows. I can recall saying how pretty the sun was as we rode over the little hill. The next thing I remember is crying out in the ambulance, "What happened to me? Where's my kids?" I said that over and over. The driver said, in what sounded like s--l--o--w motion, "You've been in a car wreck honey." Darkness, I'm out again.
Noises, busy people, not able to move, not being able to speak, looking up, wondering, noises...that is my second memory. I later found out that I was in the emergency room with lots of people trying to keep me alive. Opening eyes, a nurse at my side, I look around, in a different place, she says she is taking my clothes... out again. From that point on, I really don't know what happened next. Apparently, we were hit head on by a drunk driver ~ out in the middle of the country ~ a drunk driver ~ a Saturday afternoon ~ a drunk driver! Can you believe it!! They had a hard time getting me out of the truck, they tell me, and the drunk was sitting on the side of the road still drinking beer!
I had broken almost all of my ribs. My heart and lungs were bruised and bleeding. My collarbone was broken. My left hip was broken. My right ankle was busted up good! My left toe and right thumb were broken. I had a head injury. They didn't know if I would make it or not. A week later, I had a stroke from blood clots releasing from somewhere. A few weeks later, I had a pulmonary embolism, a blood clot in the lungs.
I vaguely remember my family coming into my room, but that must have been the next day after the crash, because they had to drive 450 miles to get there. I don't remember much that happened during the first week or so, really. I do know that my whole family drove all night to get there, from Savannah. I remember Glenda coming in. I do know that Marvin and Arlene came to see me the first week. I remember that, because I was fine and able to talk to them. Then later on that Saturday or Sunday, I couldn't see, everything was dark, and my left side was all numb. I had suffered a stroke during the night, and it affected my left side, with total left sided blindness in both eyes. Rachel and Adam came in to see me, but they were scared. I guess I couldn't really talk to them, and I was all hooked up to things and in bed not able to move much. It is okay that they were scared. After all, they were only 5 and 7 years old at the time. After being in intensive care for two weeks, I was moved to a regular room. i don't remember much. Aunt Bernice and Uncle Johnny came to see me in the hospital. Saramina and Mina came to see me. I can't remember much else. Four weeks after the crash, the insurance company deemed me ready to go home. Luckily, a nurse had suggested that I check into going to Ft. Sanders Hospital, in Knoxville, so that I could go to the Patricia Neal Rehabilitation Center there. Lucky thing...coz I had that pulmonary embolism that weekend, and they treated it there with heparin and coumadin. Then, I was able to start my rehabilitation. I stayed in Knoxville until the end of April. I learned how to walk again and do little things. I learned a lot about my head injury, stroke, and physical injuries. The stay was long, but it was good for me to be there. Rachel and Adam came over to see me as much as they could. I was 60 miles from home, and it was difficult to get them there. Mamma and Daddy stayed at my house to help take care of them, thank goodness. Daddy came to drive me home. The world seemed really weird. I felt like I was in outerspace or something as we drove down the interstate and to my house. After being inside a hospital room for almost four months, the world seemed strange. Once I was home, I tried to start my life again. Daddy stayed and helped me. My friend Laura came to see me when I got home from the hospital. Daddy took me to Savannah at some point, but I cannot remember when it was. I just remember the trip was strange and scary. After all, I had been in a car crash, and car travel was not much fun anymore. I still get scared driving, especially on interstates.
My recovery has been long and ongoing. I am still recovering, actually. There are things I still cannot do, but there are many things that I can do. Reading for comprehension took fifteen years to accomplish. This was mostly because of the crazy type of blindness that I have and because of the memory/concentration problems from the head injury and stroke. I have accomplished many things, though. I started back to school and got my Educational Specialist's degree, my National Board Certification, and I am presently writing my dissertation for my Ph. D. Things still take a lot longer for me than for most people, but I am moving on. I have learned to hide a lot of my little problems, so that no one can notice. I think I do a pretty good job of covering up a lot of things, but I know what things are still wrong and what things don't work right. When life throws you lemons, they say you must make lemonade. Why sit around and waste away? I suppose some people do. There are people who have much worse things happen to them than I did, although I had a lot of things going on. I still do. While in the hospital I almost didn't want the doctor to come in, because he would tell me one more thing that was wrong! For instance, when they did the catherization to find the pulmonary blood clots, they found out that I have a little hole in my heart. It has been there since birth, but they found it when the tube went through the little hole during the procedure. Then, they all started talking about doing open heart surgery to fix it!! They decided against that, but I have to watch that all the time, by going to the cardiologist. Boy, was I scared about that! Well, I am lucky, no I am full of grace, God's grace. God's grace is what kept me alive. He kept me alive to raise my beautiful children and to live a wonderful life. I know that there are reasons for things to happen, and I have tried to use my experiences with all of my things to help others that may be in a similar situation. This blog tonight is not a pity party, but it is a celebration party. This is a celebration of twenty years of learning how to live as a person who sees life in a new and different light, a celebration of someone who does not take things for granted, a celebration of a person who has learned to accept people as they are, for who they are, and for their differences. I am more understanding of those who have troubles and cannot live the way everyone else does. God has given me a wonderful life and a wonderful outlook on things. There are times when I get really cyincal, and I have to remember that I must be more positive. It is often very hard to be positive, but I must try my hardest to think positively and not negatively. I must continue to try and recover the things that are still hard for me to do. My memory is not the greatest, and my left side is still a mess, but I move on and keep going. There is much that I could say, but I would just keep going on and on if I continued. So, I will stop for now and praise God for my life and my family. I love my children and my family so very, very much! Thank you God for keeping me here. I know that I am here for something special, and I am trying to accomplish whatever it is. I love my life. Thank you dear Lord.
So, here I am twenty years later writing a blog! I know there are things that I still need to say about this, but I can't remember them right now. I will get back on here as soon as I think of them and add more of my story. To be continued...hahaha!
